Bullying or Unkindness? Understanding the Difference at School

From the Child Safe Advocate

At our school, we believe every student has the right to feel safe, respected, and included. One of the most important things we can do to create this kind of environment is help students – and families – understand the difference between bullying and unkind behaviour.

What’s the Difference?

? Unkindness is when someone says or does something hurtful once or without thinking. It might be a rude comment, being left out of a game, or an argument between friends. While this still needs to be addressed, it is usually not meant to harm long-term and often comes from poor choices or emotions running high.

? Bullying, on the other hand, is repeated, deliberate behaviour that is meant to hurt, upset, or intimidate someone. It usually involves a power imbalance – physical strength, popularity, or knowing someone’s secrets.

Why the Difference Matters

Understanding the difference helps us respond in the right way. All unkindness needs to be addressed – we aim to help students learn from mistakes and repair relationships. Bullying, however, requires a stronger and more structured response to protect the person being targeted and to stop the behaviour.

What We Do as a School

We take every report of unkind or bullying behaviour seriously. We:

• Investigate concerns respectfully and carefully
• Support those affected
• Teach students how to handle conflict and build empathy

• Work closely with families when needed

What You Can Do

Parents and carers:

• Talk with your child about their friendships and feelings
• Encourage them to speak to a trusted adult if something feels wrong

• Help them reflect on their own behaviour, too

• Check out the resources available on sites like Kids Help Line and eSafety

• Keep the school informed when issues arise
• Be aware that although we will be doing something; we cannot disclose our dealings with students who are not your own

 Students:

• Be kind, even when it’s hard
• Try to imagine how you would feel in that situation
• Speak up if you see someone being hurt or treated unkindly

• Ask for help – you are never alone

Let’s work together to make our school a place where everyone feels safe, welcome and valued – every day.